Perhaps you find yourself arguing about the smallest of things or your relationship feels a bit lifeless and you seem to be going your separate ways more and more. Maybe you have a sense that things are stuck. Maybe being unhappy has affected your sexual relationship, leading to a loss of desire for one or both of you, causing distress or conflict.
It can be daunting to consider Couples Counselling. Exposing your inner-most hopes and fears to a supportive stranger is one thing but with your partner there too there can be an extra sense of risk. Your partner may not agree with your view of things, or you may no longer be used to sharing your feelings with each other and it now feels exposing. Maybe your partner won’t like what you have to say or be hurt by it. Sometimes there may be a fear that the counsellor will take sides.
Issues can include:
- Affairs and Infidelity
- Communication Issues
- Losses of Trust
- Disagreements about Parenting
- Inter-Racial Differences
- Anger (whether expressed in a healthy or abusive way)
- Bereavement and Loss
- Separation and Divorce
- Different Views about the use of Pornography, Social Media etc.
- Texting Misunderstandings and Hyper-Awareness of each other
In couples therapy with me you will have my wholehearted, impartial support in finding tools, resources and confidence to deal with your difficulties. My responsibility is towards caring for your relationship and to ensure that both of you will get equal time, attention and understanding. Difficult subjects can be explored and calm discussions are encouraged to enable changes that improve the relationship.
There develops a collaboration between us, with me inviting you to consider ways of learning how to hear each other again. I aim to help you see what is happening between you from a deeper perspective and to negotiate more helpful patterns of behaviour with each other. Through this process newfound respect and love has the opportunity to arise.
It becomes more possible to do this work on your own, communication has improved and it becomes time to move on from counselling. Most people leave having not only learned a lot about their partner and their relationship, but about themselves, too.
Sometimes couples can feel able to manage with a few counselling sessions but when the problems are more deep rooted, longer term counselling may be necessary. I may suggest that couples practice between sessions using exercises and further discussion. Sometimes it becomes clear that the relationship is coming to an end and the sessions then become about supporting the couple to navigate this.
All couples (gender, sexuality, age, length of relationship) welcome.
My training is an Advanced Specialist Diploma in Relationship Counselling with Heartwood Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy. I also am greatly influenced by Emotionally Focused Therapy.